Likes: Personal space
Dislikes: Taking his thyroid medication
Longest stretch without moving: 26 hours, 32 minutes and 7 seconds
Claim to fame: Reigning champion of the “Be a Statue” competition for four years running
NB: The original version of this profile cast Parsley in a far more positive light, but after a bit of an ordeal giving him his meds from which I walked away with tears and a bloody hand, it’s fair to say I’m not his biggest fan RIGHT NOW.